May You Never
by queenckarfwedson-x
Summary: After denying their feelings for one another, Zosia March and Oliver Valentine finally have what seems to be the perfect relationship. But will demons from the past, and unexpected new challenges threaten their chance of a perfect future?
1. Chapter 1

"That's the last box unpacked," Zosia said with a contented sigh, heading into the kitchen where Oliver was making them some coffee, putting her arms around him from behind and nuzzling into his neck. "I can't believe I've actually moved in with you. God knows what Arthur and Dom are going to do without me to look after them," she laughed. Ollie turned to kiss her cheek, smiling. "Probably murder each other, I would expect," he smirked, before passing her a mug of coffee.

It had been a big step for the two of them to move in together; Zosia had at first been worried that both working and living together would put a strain on their relationship. But they had decided there was little point in dwelling on something that might not happen, and they went ahead and bought a brand new, beautiful apartment together. Things seemed absolutely perfect. For the first time in a very long time, Zosia was completely happy and content, as was Ollie. He understood her, was patient and considerate, and even little things like checking she had taken her medication and that she was feeling alright, made Zosia feel very safe and secure with him. Ollie, at the same time, felt that he could allow himself to fall in love with Zosia, without feeling guilty about Tara, or feeling like he was trying to replace her. Nobody could ever do that, especially not Zosia, as she and his late wife couldn't have been more different. But he knew that he could be just as happy as he once had been; he was completely head over heels for her.

They headed through to the living room, curling up together on the sofa with their coffees, perfectly content with one another's company. "So...the flatwarming..." Zosia said, smirking. "I know it's not that big a deal, but it /is/ a big step in showing everyone how serious we are. And what better way to do that than to invite everyone round here and flaunt it in their faces?" she laughed, leaning over to kiss Ollie's neck gently. "You know I love a party..." Zosia murmured against his ear, kissing it a little, knowing she would probably get her own way by doing so. Ollie rolled his eyes, before laughing. "Fine, fine," he said, wrapping an arms around her, and kissing the top of Zosia's head. "We'll have a few people round, but /not/ the whole hospital, and if Dominic starts any drinking games, he is /out/, alright?!" Ollie teased. "Whatever," Zosia replied, before getting up off of the sofa and putting her mug down. "Right," she said, stretching. "Bedtime for me. I'm on painfully early tomorrow morning." Ollie smirked, and got up to follow her. "I may join you then, Doctor March..." he said, looking rather mischievous. "I don't believe we've had a chance to christen our new bed just yet..." he said. Zosia raised her eyebrows, before laughing. "Come on then Doctor Valentine. You've got half an hour before I want to be asleep!" she teased. With that, Ollie scooped her up in his arms, covering her in kisses as he carried her to their bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

A few days later, Zosia woke up the morning after their flatwarming party. She was working rather early, so had lain off the booze the previous night, opting for only a few glasses of wine. Oliver, on the other hand, hadn't been so careful, and had a rather heavy night, ending up in a tequila contest with Dominic and Mo, something Zosia had taken great delight in filming on her phone for her own amusement.

Once she was ready for work, having showered and dressed, Zosia leaned over to Ollie, who was asleep, practically face down against his pillow. "See you later," she said, kissing his cheek and stroking his hair gently. "There's a bucket next to the bed if you think you're going to be sick. If you throw up in the bed, I swear I will kill you." Ollie groaned, batting her away with his hand, clearly nursing an immense hangover, making Zosia laugh before she headed out to where Guy was picking her up.

As she'd had quite a late night, her dad offered to swing by and pick her up in the morning as they were due to start at the same time. Having not seen her father in a while, apart from in passing in the hospital, Zosia agreed, smiling as she got into the car. "Morning, dad," she said, getting her seatbelt on. "Good morning, Zoshy," he said, leaning over to kiss her cheek before driving off. "How was the big party?" he asked. " Sorry I couldn't make it, darling, but you know how busy things are for me at the moment," he said, having been caught up at work late in meetings with Hanssen and Serena Campbell.

"It was really good thanks, dad. Probably wasn't your idea of fun anyway, though I do have a great video of Oliver competing with Mo and Dom to down as many tequilas as they could before the end of the YMCA...don't even ask..." she said, rolling her eyes. As Zosia and Guy caught up with one another, chatting about how things were going in their lives, Zosia began to feel increasingly unwell. She did at first think it was maybe just her father's driving; he did like going a little faster than average. But she soon knew it was more than just car sickness, and urged him to pull over. Guy did so just on time for Zosia to open her door and spectacularly throw up out of it.  
"Hmm, it clearly was some party!" he laughed. "But really, Zoshy, you shouldn't be working if you're suffering a hangover. It's against hospital protocol..." he said, not wanting to get all professional with his daughter, but knew he had to say it.  
"No...I..." Zosia started, still a bit shocked at what had happened, but gathered herself before responding. "I'm fine, dad, honestly. I think it's just because I haven't eaten anything yet," she said calmly. But Zosia knew that she would never, ever have had such a reaction to two glasses of wine; she never even got hangovers when she and Dom used to go out all night and work the next morning. However, she decided not to dwell on it and put it to the back of her mind; she had a busy day ahead and didn't need something as trivial as a potential hangover to worry about.


	3. Chapter 3

"No...no, no, no..." Zosia said, her head in her hands as she sat in the staff toilets. "This seriously cannot be happening..." she murmured to herself. After taking a deep breath, she looked again at the test in her hand. Two blue lines. There was no denying it; she was pregnant.

A million thoughts raced through Zosia's head. What was she supposed to do with a baby? Becoming a mother hadn't even crossed her mind at all, at least certainly not as something that would happen in the near future. And what about her career? She was just starting out, she had ambitions, plans, and a baby would completely ruin all of that. It wasn't that she and Oliver hadn't been careful; she had been taking her pill religiously, and they both were on the same page about not wanting children any time soon. "Trust me to be in that 2 percent that it fails on," she muttered to herself, trying not to panic. She remembered all she had learned in her cognitive behavioural therapy, trying to calm herself down and take deep breaths, reminding herself that there was always a solution to a problem and another way to look at things, and that she didn't have to act out or do anything rash to deal with what was happening. She tucked the test into the pocket of her scrubs and left the stall, washing her hands and splashing her face with cold water, doing anything she could to keep herself in check.

Zosia found it terribly hard to concentrate all day. Now that she knew she was pregnant, as ridiculous as it was, she was now paranoid that everyone around her could tell too. She kept catching herself standing with her hand on her belly, or behind her back, as if she couldn't have made it more obvious. By the end of the day, she was completely beside herself, being clumsy and careless on the ward. But as soon as her shift finished, Zosia rushed to get changed, slipping the positive pregnancy test into her bag and headed home, taking a cab to avoid any more awkward questions from her father.

Arriving home, she was greeted by an overwhelming smell of cooking, and she soon discovered Ollie in the kitchen, finishing preparing their dinner. "Long day?" he asked, going to her and pulling her close for a kiss, which Zosia began to return but had to pull away almost immediately. The smell of food was too much, and something turned her stomach, and so, for the second time that day, she ran to the bathroom to be sick once again.  
"I didn't think my cooking was that bad!" Oliver joked, walking in behind Zosia and gently rubbing her back, holding her hair back as she was sick. "Have you been like this all day?" he asked, handing her some tissues to wipe her mouth, before giving her a cuddle as she sat back, obviously quite concerned.  
Zosia shook her head, not really sure what to say. She had hoped for a little more time to mull things over before having to tell Oliver, but her body had clearly decided differently by making it impossible not to explain what was wrong with her.  
"I...I don't really know how to tell you this, Ollie," she said quietly; she was so worried how he would react. Zosia knew Oliver loved her, and that their relationship was serious, but a baby? She wasn't so sure he would be happy about it.  
"You're going to be a dad. I'm pregnant, Ollie."


	4. Chapter 4

After hearing Zosia, Ollie stayed silent for a moment, looking rather stunned at the news Zosia had just dropped on him.  
"Ollie...?" she said quietly. "Please..say something?" Zosia pleaded, just wanting him to say anything at all, to stop her from going through every potential reaction in her head.  
"A baby?" Oliver repeated, looking at Zosia in disbelief. "But...I thought we'd been careful?" he said, but shook his head. "No...no, it doesn't matter. It's happened. It isn't great timing, no, but... I love you, Zosh. So, so much. I can't make up your mind for you and I won't force you to do anything but I promise you that I will be here to support you and our baby no matter what. And if you really don't want this just now...because of your career and things, then I'll stand by whatever decision you make," he said, leaning over to stroke her hair, before kissing her forehead.  
"I thought it would be the easiest thing in the world to say I'm having an abortion," Zosia said, having boldly told the same thing to Dom and Arthur before, in her wilder days, when they'd kept telling her to be careful. "But I can't, Ollie. I want to keep the baby..." she said, taking a deep breath and looking into his eyes; she always found doing so very comforting and calming. "I want us to have children some day...I guess that day has just come a little sooner than planned," she said weakly.

Ollie kissed Zosia once more, and lifted her up into his arms, almost like she were a baby herself.  
"Lets go talk about this properly, hm?" he said, carrying her through to their bedroom and cuddling up with her on the bed.  
"Like I said...I completely stand by you. And I think you would be an absolutely amazing mum, Zosh. There isn't anyone I would rather start a family with," he said, stroking her hair, trying to comfort her. "I love you, and I can't wait to go through all of this with you. Support you...go to the scans with you, give you back massages, hold back your hair when you've got morning sickness," he laughed. "I mean it, Zosia. This might have not been the immediate life plan, but we'll make it work. You and our baby are all that matter, and I love you both so much," Oliver said, kissing her cheek and pulling her close.

To say Zosia was relieved would have been an understatement. She had no idea how Ollie would react, and for him to be so supportive and take the idea in his stride just proved to her even more what an amazing man he was. She leaned against his chest, feeling light with relief.  
"I don't know what I've done to deserve you," she said quietly, it finally hitting her just how much their lives together were going to change. "I can't believe we're having a baby. Baby Valentine..." she said smiling a little, before kissing Ollie gently, as he rested his hand on her stomach, stroking it gently with his thumb.  
"I know its a long way away yet, but I'll need to sort out what's happening with work. I mean, I'll be finished my F2 year by the time the baby arrives but if I need to take a year off or something..." Zosia trailed off, the thought of giving up her career, even only temporarily, unbearable.  
"A year off? Woah, woah, woah Doctor March!" Ollie laughed. "This is my baby too! And we happen to work together, on the same ward, no less. We'll make it work between us so you can go back to work, and if need be, I'm sure we can afford a nanny a few days a week. You're far too good a doctor to completely give it all up. If Jac Naylor can do it, so can you," he said, and Zosia threw her arms around him, practically jumping on top of him, clearly thrilled at Ollie's suggestion.  
"You are incredible, you know that?" Zosia said, covering his face in kisses. "I'm so lucky to have you, Oliver Valentine."  
Ollie just smiled at Zosia adoringly before leaning in to kiss her slowly, his hand gently caressing her cheek. "And I'm lucky to have you too, Zosia March," he replied, smiling against her lips.


End file.
